Many of us struggle with low self-esteem and self-esteem that is governed by the judgment of others. In this post, Espen Holmgren from Norsk Mestring gives important advice on what you can do to become more confident in yourself and to build and maintain a healthy self-confidence and self-esteem. Read the post here.

 Image: Dreamstime (with licence)


We humans all have our limitations. No one is good at everything and those who are often end up with problems. 

Here are some tips on how to exercise your right to have limitations and through it gain self-confidence and self-esteem. The benefits of exercising these rights are less anxiety / fear, anger, increased self-esteem, better communication skills and better satisfaction in personal relationships.

Even though everyone knows that you have limitations, many people have difficulty saying no because they believe that they do not have the right to have good self-esteem.

You have these rights as a human being and by not exercising them you often undermine your own identity and dignity, which in turn leads to low self-esteem.

Your rights  

  1. You have the right to be heard
  2. You have the right to influence other people 
  3. You have the right to make mistakes
  4. You have the right to get attention around your own person
  5. You have the right to change your mind
  6. You have the right to consider your own thoughts and feelings
  7. You have the right to disagree with other people's assessments of you
  8. You have the right not to have to justify yourself.
  9. You have the right to have limitations: limited knowledge, limited care, limited responsibility for others, limited time
  10. You have the right to have your restrictions respected.

When you accept this and act on this, you will be able to gain more self-confidence. By realizing that others have all the same rights as you, you will not confuse healthy self-esteem with aggression or hostility.

I'm ok, you're ok

If you do not exercise these rights, you can think of others that: "you are ok, but I am not ok" or if you have excessive self-confidence, you think of others: "I am ok, you are not ok". 

Healthy self-esteem says: "I'm ok, you're ok" 

If you are unsure whether your self-esteem is healthy or aggressive, you can ask the following questions:

 

  1. Did I express my rights?
  2. Did I respect the other person's rights?
  3. Did I suggest a behavior change?

 

Requires training 

Even if you do this, it is not certain that others understand your needs and desires, but by exercising your rights, it is more likely that the other will understand your intentions and that this in turn can lead to agreement. 

At the Norwegian organization, Norsk Mestring, you learn to practice this in the family so that all supporters understand and are able to help our participants change their lives.

Cite this article

 

Feel free to use information from this article on your website, but remember to add a link.

 

Written by

ove heradstveit

Ove Heradstveit

Psychologist, specialist in clinical community psychology. PhD.
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